September 8, 2008

Cookies, Pies, Snacks & Chips..

As you've seen there are not many subjects that I haven't touched on from politics, my "teenager", my family and love for Raider football (of which I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.DISCUSS) I only have a few more untouched topics which are my "man" (for another post) and other people's children. If you notice all of my topics are easy to choose a pro or con side.. for my sake I will call them an ass whoopin or punishment side (for the YT folks - ass whoopin being the severe of the two) and discuss the topic at hand. Now usually I have a nice get together for the Raider games, but have since stopped doing so for one of two reasons:



  • We in a recession (I'm broke as hell)


  • Other people's kids..


Now let's discuss the later... shall we? My home used to be the "go to" house for me and my buddies to hang out, conversate, watch the kids and just chill. Lately I've noticed that what we had is sometimes difficult for others.. we stood as one, my friends and I - one common ground on who was wrong and who was right when it came to the kids...


Adults 1 - Children 0

Hip Hop Animations @ Youvee.net



...was how the game was always played, but somehow this philosophy hasn't gotten lost on today's parents. (holla if you hear me) Parents.. here is a guide to use to find out if YOU are the weakest link...



  1. No matter who comes to you in the middle of a child's argument - no one is right.. just go sit your ass down and quit being a dayum tattle tale..


  2. In the event of violence.. no matter who did it.. both parties are to go to neutral corners on the threat and violation of public embarassment via ass whoopin or adult tongue lashing (you choose)


  3. Overbearing lonely child (I'll nickname this one "Mine") Go sit your ass down somewhere until you can learn to play with the rest of the children...


  4. Greedy child (usually has too many siblings - momma sit yo hot ass down) Feed them and them get them away from your cookies, pies, snacks and chips.. they'll be lil Jack's falling off the hill with they rolley polley selves if you don't watch it..

  5. Parents who don't follow these guidelines.. you will forever be in turmoil when you try and bring your crumb snatchin, tattle-tellin, lonely, bitchassmade child to someone else's home who believes this mantra whole-heartedly!!

So now you've heard my guidelines and I really don't care if this sounds cruel to you or not.. the ish works for me so much so I could send my daughter to your house at age two and she wouldn't dare mess with grandma's china on the lower shelf.... hmph!

1 comment:

Jay Curtis™ said...

Praise the Lawd for the gospel of arsewhippin! I'm already training myself a good swing, just in case (eventho my child is 11 months).

YT people, make this post a magnet that you can put on your refrigerator.