November 19, 2008

Uninvited Guests

Have you ever had someone come to your house and clear the entire room with their stank attitude or snooty position? I had a recent encounter with someone that literally left me speechless.. and I'm not usually a quiet person. I had just begun to eat my dinner with my best friend oneless and Mr Hubby when my doorbell rang. I knew that my b/f's daughter was coming by and I never have a problem with that... but I do however have an issue with the grandmother. Just by coincident we happen to have the same name in which we pronounce differently, but it's spelled the same.. yeah I know.. tomatoe/tomatoe doesn't constitute snooty, but the look off the end of her nose sure does.

So she comes into my home basically uninvited and Mr. Hubby almost shuts the door in her face.. because there is a serious underlying problem with this lady. The mother of two of his children past away two years ago and the only other living parent on this earth is Mr. Hubby and she refuses to allow him visitation.. isn't the purpose of being a grandmother to facilitate a loving, nurturing relationship between father and son? Her daughter that is now in heaven would certainly not approve of this behavior and so I made it a point to confront her about her lack of compassion in this situation. His eldest child is 18 (about to be 19) and so she really has no control over where she goes and what she does. The son is 10 and he hasn't seen his father in over two years.. and it's not for a lack of trying either. We've tried every imaginable way to allow this icicle hearted bish to lower her guard and allow this relationship to grow. We are still battling this in court to this day, but are steady losing ground in mediation, because the son doesn't want to come over.. he thinks our house is boring.. and I think he needs a quick stiff kick in the backside and then rushed to his Dad's house for some bonding.

Back to the point of this story though.. (I'm so easily side tracked) so as she enters my home with nose turned up staring at my food.... now there are three things in this life I don't play with.. my man, my money and my food... so I put my plate up cause I see this hungry unannounced heiffa is bout to catch an old fashioned ass whooping if she reach in my plate. She greets oneless with a limp handed hand shake which is a no no! That is snooty as they come and oneless knows this too. So I make it a point to ask her politely where the son is and why she didn't bring him with her.. she responds that he was at home playing video games and didn't want to come (SEOD for about 45 seconds)

So I continue and let her know that I've been missing him and would love to see him. I tell her that even my daughter misses having him around. She was never interested in wrestling until he introduced it to her. Now every year I have to run out and get the latest edition of Raw or Smackdown.

She responds with.. "Well you know I'll be in Oakland on Wednesday... "

Me: "Oh great - we'd love to see him Wednesday!!"

Her (with snooty looks off the end of her long ass nose) "No.. I mean I'll be in town on Wednesday for a meeting..."

free myspace graphics :: myspace images :: myspace pictures free myspace layouts

Bish.. did I ask you what you're doing this week?? Did I really ask you for YOUR itenerary??? I don't want to see you! I want to see your grandson idiot!! I see this is a losing battle from the gate and she really has not a clue and no matter what I say at this point isn't going to make a difference in how she will react with icy responses.. So I bid my friend oneless goodbye as I said good night to everyone and retired to my room for the evening.. before my blood pressure rose and I had to drop kick that heiffa in the left ear lobe..

November 18, 2008

Pay like you Weigh!

Hey folks!! I was sure that yesterday I was going to be able to sit down with my blog and just hash out a few posts, but with Mr Hubby taking the day off yesterday (just to bug the ish out of me) I wasn't able to concentrate and spend a few online. But never fear.. Wifee is here.. big shout out to Oneless holding it down with her post below. I didn't think I was going to be able to type after that bowling trip we took Saturday night... Lawd my arms, back, legs and shoulders hurt. We had a blasts, but it is getting too expensive to chill with grown folks.

Funny Pics / bowling failure

So other than bowling with the fam and friends - I've had a pretty interesting weekend to say the least. My daughter's father came and picked her up for the weekend.. something he used to do without fail when she was younger, but it seems as his interest in women change - so does his behavior and visitation patterns with my daughter. Here's a little history on this trick (and you'll understand why I call him a trick as we near the end of this story)

When I met my daughter's father, I was 21 and doing my own thing ya know? We hooked up in 1993 and a year later my baby was born. We weren't together for very long, and once our relationship ended we went back with our exes. Once my daughter was born - he married his ex. She wasn't much of a woman due to the fact we had several Maury/Jerry Springer type conversations and she was actually jealous of this precious baby because she hadn't yet spit out her own version of her mini-man. So I was never able to have the address to where he and the misses lived nor was I to have their home phone number... but I continued to let him be apart of her life.

About 8 years ago his ex wife attempted to kill him - literally and spent some time in jail which ended the marriage. He then moved on to his prize possession Mz Skrippa Hoe and stayed with her for about 6 years. While he was with the skrippa hoe he would make sure that his daughter was with him on Summer vacations, Xmas, Thanksgiving.. any holiday in which she was out of school she spent it with her dad... the reason being because skrippa didn't have a job.. not in 6 years.. not a one.. but she lived in the exes house and had a daughter of her own. Go figure...

When this relationship ended 4 years ago things went downhill.. the new girl was a chihuahua looking hoodrat, but that's besides the point.. she has grown kids and really doesn't push him to want to be a part of his daughter's life. Where he was spending every other weekend and vacations with her.. to now where he's spending maybe 3 1/2 weeks out of the year with her... But did I mention that this heffa don't have a job either?? So what I deduce from this is he is a trick.. paying for hoes to live... simple.

After the cell phone bill debacle in which he promised my daughter that he would pay the bill and renigged - I decided this is more than an opportune time to make you pay like you weigh... Monday we spent time in court to revise the current child support order which was established when she was a year old to a whopping sum of $212.00 a month... yeah I don't know anyone who can survive off that.. hell welfare recipients get more than that a month. I've never had the support order changed because I felt I didn't need to as long as he was spending time with his daughter.. but now he's asked for joint custody and visitation rights..

Funny Pics / wtf gif

I have faith that this latest stint which has now delayed my support order revision will in the end benefit my daughter to the tune of $850.00 a month... I feel like my daughter should be the number one female in line to get this trick's money. Dayum that mess make a bish feel like P. Diddy right now...


Funny Pics / you will fail

November 15, 2008

I love This Town

I love my town, BUT I wish we had better things to do out here. Does anyone remeber the skate rink, from back in the day?! I know I do, and I think that I would like to go skating! But where! I'm not to OG status (thank goodness), but im not a youngsta either, I prefer not to be around the rowdy rowdiness, but love to have fun. So the skate rinks that I know about are full of youngstas, and further more too far. Can we bring these things BACK to Oakland PLEASE!!! I like to be in my own community too! And another thing, we went bowling 2 weeks ago, and can someone tell me when bowling got so damn expensive!!! I remember the last time I went bowling the shoe rental came WITH purchase, and you paid per game. NOW you pay per game, per person, and for the damn shoes (which might I mention on the night we went they had run out, so we're playing in sneakers!) And lets not think that you might want to have a drink!! AND they dont even have the different selection of balls like they use to. Back in the day you could find a bowling ball that was just right! Now you have 3 options, little, average, and heavy as all out doors. Its just not like I remember. We did have fun though, even though the next day I woke up with a blister on my thumb from throwing the heavy as ALL hell ball, just too damn hard! Well anyway, thats it...i'm just venting...and now im on my way to go bowling!

November 12, 2008

Got Me Working Working Day & Night

"When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work ask him, 'Whose?' "
Don Marquis

Hey blogging fam and guests! I'm so sorry for leaving you without a fresh rhyme to step to.. uh yeah, but some of you may know that I've been working like a slave in two football fields of cotton with one hand tied behind my back and double dutching at the same time.. yeah like that!

I've had a few things on my mind I wanted to share. I know alot of you come here to read the funny stories about me and my teenage daughter and she's been doing great ever since the two ass whoopings I had to lay down on her candy ass...

Funny Pics / BODYSLAM

But more so she's talking to me more about things going on in her life. She's been without a cellphone for a few weeks now and had more time to study.. and I explained that once the punishment is over (next report card) that we would see how things will go... Other than that things are clear sailing... for now.

Next on the list for discussion is my 51/50 coworker who took off the last two months (why I've been working like a dog) and is set to return next week. My question is why I've seen her more while she's been out than if she was really here at work? I really want her to see my face everytime she comes up in here "to see how I'm doing" and realize that ish ain't cute!

Funny Pics / IDGAF!

Yeah.. I'm really fed up with having to do her work and mine.. and to top it off another coworker is out on a week's vacation.. guess who's left with the work? Yup... me! But back to this 51/50 bish..

Funny Pics / crazy

Why don't black people ever go out on a 51/50? Why cause we know we ain't gonna do ish to ourselves.. but we may eff up Becky at the job... and that leads to the jail cell not the padded one.

I know most of ya'll think I'm jealous, but that's not it.. If a person needs time off to care for themselves and to get their mind right - then I'm all for it, but she's been throwing parties, having a Vegas Vacation, drinking (read getting pissy drunk) and smoking all while I'm stuck behind these grey cubicle walls each and every day. The doctor diagnosed her with bipolar, manic depression and schizophrenia.. so don't some of those medicines interact badly with alcohol? I don't know.. I'm no doctor, but that don't sound right. Besides I don't wish no ill will on nobody, but I got money on how long it takes this heffa to either go out on another 51/50 or quit.... I'm taking all bets!

November 7, 2008

Be careful which theme song you pick!

I just ran across this interesting tidbit at Eurweb that I thought I would share with you all...

* points out that the theme music used to close speeches given Tuesday night by both President-elect Barack Obama and former GOP nominee John McCain were from films starring Oscar winner Denzel Washington.

The Web site reported:

McCain left the Arizona stage to part of Hans Zimmer’s score from “Crimson Tide.” The 1995 Tony Scott film focused on a career Navy man (Gene Hackman), labeled a maverick by some, who is stripped of his authority and ultimately beaten by a young black guy, somewhat new to the scene (Washington).

Then there was Obama, who left the stage to the strings of Trevor Rabin’s score from “Remember the Titans.” The 2000 Disney/Bruckheimer joint? It followed an African-American coach who brought together whites and blacks to win a championship

Tee Heee heee... now if that ain't treated.. I don't what is....

Funny Pics / McCain Faces

Chocolate News (Why haven't you Tivo'd this?)

Okay shame on you if you haven't caught the latest episode of Chocolate News.. I swear this man almost made me break my jaw laughing so hard.. this is some real talk though! Check it out... and don't forget to put this kneegrow into your tivo rotation!

"President Barack Obama! Hmm Mmmm Mmmm.."


November 6, 2008

Where was I when Barack became Prez?

Well most of my blogging friends have given their rendition of where they were on the great evening when Barack Obama was elected President and I've yet to add my story...

Tuesday evening I arrive home around 5:30 pm after haggling with Sprint over a broken phone (another story altogether) so when I get home, my daughter was sick with a migraine that day so she stayed home, so I turned on the television to Faux news - I figured the closer to calling the race we get I'll turn to CNN (the real news) but for now I wanted to see how their opinions would fare with the rest of the nation...

Around 6:15 pm Mr Hubby returns home after a hard day on the job of dealing with OFC (other folks chilluns) and he's tired but inspired. We both cast our votes earlier that morning in order to avoid the after work rush. We sit and watched as the electoral votes grow larger and larger for Obama.. 158 to 76 and the fluttering is starting to begin in my heart. Can we actually win this thing or am I going to have to move to Canada? Lawd I don't wanna move to Canada...

My best friend Nikki (my beloved guest blogger) arrives at my house we have our first pre-Obama session. Once the puff has been passed it's close to 7:30 pm and we're ever so close to electing the next President - electoral at this point was 220 - 151 in favor of Obama and I'm thinking in my mind... this is pretty much a wrap.. once we add Cali's 55 electoral votes it's done... so I run outside to greet my bff'ers mom as she arrives wondering who won.. meantime my daughter is upstairs screaming and hollering and I ran back in the house to see what was up.. and there across my screen it read:

Yeah that's my 50 inch telling you just what I saw at 8pm... I now have a black President. My first reaction was to scream as well then I ran outside and told everyone Obama WON!! My bff'ers and mother came into the house and celebrated with us throughout most of the night as we popped champizzle and toasted glasses to the greatest thing since sliced bread... all of our dreams and hopes rested in this election and it was satisfying.. no it was gratifying to know that our prayers and votes had not gone unanswered..

Trust me - I wanted to pass out a few times during the screaming, but my body refused. 400 years of waiting wouldn't allow me too.. it kept telling me stand girl.. even if it's on one leg.. stand and take notice of this moment! No more excuses.. no more rhetoric about how we aren't given the chance or the white man this or the white man that... nope... all of that talk is pretty much dead and now when I look at my daughter I can see the next American President of the United States....

November 5, 2008

My President is Black!!!!!

It's official folks.. we now have our first black President of the USA.. and we did it in record numbers. I am especially proud of my black folks for not acting too much of a fool last night with no real incidents of nignant episodes across the streets of America. I made it to work on time, but unfortunately this flu that's been going around is kicking my tuckus.. so I just wanted to hop on here and let everyone know that I am esctatic about last night's victorious, historical and monumental occassion and will leave you with my "party" song we played last night during our celebration!

November 4, 2008

President OBAMA

Hello everyone! These last few months I have been so anxious!! Anxious to find out the results from this day. I can honestly say, before Barack was ever a candidate, I said to myself: I will never see a black president in my life time, and if by some small chance we did he would be assasinated....shout out to all of the haters that fear a black man in a positive position of power!
Hi HATER, BYE HATER! Pictures, Images and Photos

Once Barack was an initial option, I was saying to myself, I'm not going to vote for this man just because he's black....let me just say Jesse Jackson : (
Funny Pics / dozing kitty

But I have gone from feelings of uncertainty to feelings of empowerment. I see this election as clear cut. I see that we have a candidate that is the best person for the job, of getting OUR America back on track. I see in Barack the black leader that my people have been deprived of. Although there will never be any replacements for our Malcom X's, Martin Luther King's, or our Huey Newtons'. WE now have someone that is letting the people know YES you can. Yes you dont have to be the product of your enviornment, you can make your own future! Sky is the limit and, yes although as minorities will always face more roadblocks then others, if you are dedicated there is nothing that you can't achieve. Your worse enemy is you, and what you do not allow your self to accomplish.

The older I get the more I shake my head at these youngsters out here. It's sad, I mean the crack babies (seriously) have grown up, and they have no self pride, no respect for themselves, let alone for what there history represents. And now that we have BARACK as president, I feel like maybe there is a little light at the end of the tunnel. A positive example that will give these youngstas hope, and the realization that they CAN do anything.

Funny Pics / Football wink

I could not be any prouder then, I am right now to see how many of the generation beneath me (im only 29) has interest in this monumental event. They are proud, and they are holding there head high. And although I know this is not everyone's feelings we still have the niggers who just don't give a fuck, or that think there vote doesn't count....but today their ignorance doesn't cut so deep! There ignorance is firing me up to spread my intelligence, to share the knowledge, and show people the strength that we have in numbers. The influence that we have on America, and the greatness that we can achieve. It almost has me ready to scream REVOLUTION! Last night wasn't just a win for Obama, it was a win for all minorities that have ever faced a "glass ceiling", discrimination just because, or amazement in a persons voice because you are achieving more then they ever thought you were capable of. Today is the beginnig of the rest of our lives. Today is a good day, and I will never forget how I feel at this moment. I AM now PROUD to be an American.

Funny Pics / hammertime

Shout out to the Secret Service: ya'll have one hell of a job on your hands. don't fuck up and keep our brother safe!


Vote Pictures, Images and Photos

Today has finally arrived and it's time to stop debating, contemplating and get your behind to a voting poll to cast your ballot. Every vote counts!! Be a part of this historic event. I will forever remember this day because this is the first chance we could legitimately have a black man in office.

It's a warm 60 degrees here in Oakland and once the polls opened at 7am I was 32nd in line to vote. The lines seemed to stretch around the block as many of my neighbors waited for their turn. Everyone had smiles on their faces because the notion of one person making a change seemed to stretch the imagination in elections past.. but not this one. It's clear that the black vote is coming out in force and want their voices heard.

We need for young (over 18) and old to go out and show support for whatever candidate you choose.. but just CHOOSE!

vote Pictures, Images and Photos