December 1, 2008

Eff the homeless

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving went off without a hitch and there was plenty of good food, friends and family to enjoy them with. I spent my entire day cooking and cleaning for an empty house... I mean not one of my friends or family showed up to eat dinner on Thanksgiving. I was truly pissed cause now I've got all this food I can't get rid of to save my life. Case and point... the boyfriend and I had a fabulous idea this weekend to make plates and give them to the homeless we see passing by.

Well let's just say I will never EVER again try this... we began making plates Friday morning and by noon we had 10 freshly made plates of food including all the fixings.. ham, turkey, greens, stuffing, gravy, mac n cheese, yams and sweet potatoe pie. Now I'm thinking like most of you.. if you are homeless and hungry then you'd be more than willing to take the goods being offered freely. Well not these ghetto fabu-don'ts in my neighborhood.

The first couple that passed us by were quite homely - she had on Jody Watley leg warmers from the 70's and a couple of layers of clothes topped off with a lumber jack hat and he wore jeans that were ratted and torn and members only jacket with an old raggedy baseball cap. I thought this is the first couple in which I'm going to make my trip to heaven a little easier... so I offer:

Me: Hey I've got some left over food that we couldn't finish for Thanksgiving and wanted to know if you would like a plate? We've already fixed them and their ready to go....

Her: What you got?

Him: Is it hot?

Funny Pics / Psyche Out

How about you just say thank you and be appreciative somebody is thinking about your homeless behind in the first place because I could be out there stampeding over people this Black Friday.... but back to the story...

So I tell them that the food was room temp and gave them the rundown on the fixings... the first couple passed on the idea because they didn't eat greens - gave them the runs... and I guess that's a bad thing when you're homeless...

The next suspect to come along was a younger version of Al B Sure.. like you could tell in his hay day he was the ish.. but now that crack and whatever drug he'd been consuming now made him look like the Crypt Keeper... so he walks by and my b/f asks him if he'd like a plate.. again the same question - is it hot?

Finally I'm thinking in my mind "Dude why don't you blow some of that hot ass never been brushed yuk mouth breath on the food and that should warm it right up" But I'm in the holiday giving spirit and I answer his question.. then he was like well I just don't eat everybody's cooking so what kind of meat did you put in the greens?

Funny Pics / Samuel L Jackson

By this point I'm fed up and exhausted.. I never knew trying to feed the homeless was such a trying task. I gave up after the last gentleman asked me did I make the stuffing from scratch or was it some stove top....

Funny Pics / i'm outta here


A.Smith said...

You gotta be careful with the homeless. Some of them... just... eh... you gotta keep it moving.

Meanwhile, can we return to why nobody showed up at your house? Shit, I was making the rounds on Thanksgiving... free food? Yes we can!

Raider_wifee said...

Oh of course.. I know exactly how the homeless can be shady. That's the reason why the b/f was there the whole time.

I was upset when nobody showed, but the reason behind it all was actually due to a death in the family. Even when someone lives to 94 - it still a sad event.

crys said...

but i mean the 'is it hot?' is a valid question when you think about it....because how are they going to warm it up?

so really, you thought you were doing a good deed (and you were) but to the homeless people, you were just adding some more junk to they trunk - PUN INTENDED


n0days0ff said...

I would have hit em with a pie to the face. I'm actually mad for you.