December 5, 2008

Kitty Licker

I just ran across this video and had to share it with everyone... the look on the cat's face is PRICELESS at the end!!!

DEAD x 10!!!

December 4, 2008

The Ex Factor

Hey blog fam I just ran across this article in the news that happened right near my job... like literally I passed the intersection 30 minutes before the coonery began.

It all started Tuesday evening and I watched what happened yesterday on the news and couldn't believe my eyes and the sheer stupidity of a men and women dating.

OAKLAND, Calif. -- Oakland investigators are blaming a fight over a woman for sparking a wild series of events that began with gunfire and ended in a car crash.

The trouble started when a 25-year-old woman and her 30-year-old boyfriend were driving on 73rd Ave. Tuesday night when they encountered the woman's ex-boyfriend in another car.

Police say the boyfriend fired a gun at the ex-boyfriend.

No one was hit, but that prompted the ex-boyfriend -- a 32-year-old San Francisco man -- to pursue and ram the new boyfriend's car with his car.


Folks do you know they ended these whole shenanigans with a fist fight in the middle of the street??? And the funniest part is that the couple were driving a Datsun while the ex (who rammed them) was driving a Caddy. Now the sheer physics of that is enough not to shoot at this nucca... LOL!

Now c'mon people.. unless somebodies private parts are made of platinum should you ever contemplate doing any of this nignant ish. Fellas.. what is the point of trying to kill the ex? He's an ex right? You hitting that 10 ways till Sunday and you should be happy you got the woman of your dreams on your arm.

*note* I'm embellishing the hell out of this with the adjectives - cause I seen ole girl... and she was no friggin prize I tell you.. more like the cereal box free magnifying glass you get that won't burn an ant *end note*

Please folks.. we must do better!

December 2, 2008

Where there's smoke...

I was recently conversating with my boyfriend this past weekend and we happened to start talking about past events in our lifes we wished could have happened differently. Events we now look upon with side splitting laughter because who would have thunk we would be so dumb to do them in the first place. You know how I say common sense is not common? Well I wasn't always this insightful nor wise...

I can recall a time in my life around high school where I just knew I was grown and in charge. I must have been in the 10th grade and my best friend at the time thought that we should take up smoking cigarettes...
Funny Pics / smoking monkey

*note* This post in no way condones smoking of minors - keep reading and you'll see why...*end note*

So we planned a day to ditch school after my friend's mother left for work and went shopping and mulling around town. We ended up at her house and somehow I had lost the lighter we used earlier to light our cigs.. I'm thinking damn.. now we can't smoke and I wanted a cig bad too. My friend has the bright idea to light our cigs on the stove - hell it's fire.. so I'm in a hurry and go first.

I put the cigarette in my mouth and bend down to the gas stove and light the pilot...


was all I heard and the next thing I know I smell burned hair....

My friend jumps up and falls on the floor writhing in laughter as she barely spits out that my eyebrows and eyelashes are gone...

I run to the bathroom and there it was in plain view....

Now I look like Whoopi going to my junior prom... *smh*

For the record my eyelashes and eyebrows have grown back.. but it also taught me a valuable lesson... yeah I still smoke, but now I light the pilot first and my head stays away from the flame at all times!

Funny Pics / Flame Success

December 1, 2008

Bad Girls Club

Okay so as this new chapter in the last days of 2008 unfold I need for my readers to become hip to a new genre of tv... above and beyond any nignorant, triflin', rude obnoxiuos ghetto behavior... this has my all time attention since first viewing this scene a few years back...

Yes folks.. the yt lady just got molly whopped real good across the forehead and cranium region... WTF? LOL... dayum boo.. just duck next time... or stop and think - Do I really need my ass whooped on national tv.... or maybe if that don't do it realize a few things before you walk into the ring with Rocky v.2010

a. I am only talking ish cause I got a crowd of people

b. Those people aren't going to take this ass whipping for me

and last but not least....

c. I am not drunk yet so I really can't fight........

So please readers and blog fam... please check out the new season of Bad Girls Club - I highly recommend it!

Here is a link to the almost full episode of that fight.

Please be sure to catch this seasons newest additions to the bad girl household airing tomorrow (12/2) on your local Oxygen channel....

Eff the homeless

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving went off without a hitch and there was plenty of good food, friends and family to enjoy them with. I spent my entire day cooking and cleaning for an empty house... I mean not one of my friends or family showed up to eat dinner on Thanksgiving. I was truly pissed cause now I've got all this food I can't get rid of to save my life. Case and point... the boyfriend and I had a fabulous idea this weekend to make plates and give them to the homeless we see passing by.

Well let's just say I will never EVER again try this... we began making plates Friday morning and by noon we had 10 freshly made plates of food including all the fixings.. ham, turkey, greens, stuffing, gravy, mac n cheese, yams and sweet potatoe pie. Now I'm thinking like most of you.. if you are homeless and hungry then you'd be more than willing to take the goods being offered freely. Well not these ghetto fabu-don'ts in my neighborhood.

The first couple that passed us by were quite homely - she had on Jody Watley leg warmers from the 70's and a couple of layers of clothes topped off with a lumber jack hat and he wore jeans that were ratted and torn and members only jacket with an old raggedy baseball cap. I thought this is the first couple in which I'm going to make my trip to heaven a little easier... so I offer:

Me: Hey I've got some left over food that we couldn't finish for Thanksgiving and wanted to know if you would like a plate? We've already fixed them and their ready to go....

Her: What you got?

Him: Is it hot?

Funny Pics / Psyche Out

How about you just say thank you and be appreciative somebody is thinking about your homeless behind in the first place because I could be out there stampeding over people this Black Friday.... but back to the story...

So I tell them that the food was room temp and gave them the rundown on the fixings... the first couple passed on the idea because they didn't eat greens - gave them the runs... and I guess that's a bad thing when you're homeless...

The next suspect to come along was a younger version of Al B Sure.. like you could tell in his hay day he was the ish.. but now that crack and whatever drug he'd been consuming now made him look like the Crypt Keeper... so he walks by and my b/f asks him if he'd like a plate.. again the same question - is it hot?

Finally I'm thinking in my mind "Dude why don't you blow some of that hot ass never been brushed yuk mouth breath on the food and that should warm it right up" But I'm in the holiday giving spirit and I answer his question.. then he was like well I just don't eat everybody's cooking so what kind of meat did you put in the greens?

Funny Pics / Samuel L Jackson

By this point I'm fed up and exhausted.. I never knew trying to feed the homeless was such a trying task. I gave up after the last gentleman asked me did I make the stuffing from scratch or was it some stove top....

Funny Pics / i'm outta here