Looooooocious!

So I know my blog family has been wondering how life has been going with the teenager.. well I've been really hesitant to even discuss it here, but then I thought about it.. this is where I can place my thoughts and ideas.. soooo here goes - hopefully this will help some other parent out there...

A few weeks prior to the holidays I began snooping in her diary again and found some devastating news about my one and only child. She had been depressed about a boy she cared for and from her illegible handwriting I deduced some very disturbing facts about my very own child. She had begun cutting herself in privacy.. now this is serious.. in need of counseling and probably medication, but what hurt me most is knowing I provide her with as much love as my heart can hold.. every morning she can't leave my sight without a hug and a kiss (Thanks Kevin Brown @ KBLX who kindly reminds me every morning to hug and kiss my baby so they'll have a better day and so will I)

But I constantly have conversations with her and "school" her on these types of things so I'm utterly confused as to how this all happened. I finally figured out that I had to back off a little and let her become the young woman she's trying to be... and my fear of boys had to stop. So without letting her know that I read the diary, but still keeping a close eye on her and increasing our communication I think we have a better more honest relationship. The boyfriend's name is Lucious... *stop laughing.. yeah I said loooocious* and I couldn't wait to meet him so that we could all have a sit down conversation about my expectations of their relationship. I wanted to be the caring mom to take them to the movies and pick them up and so on... but before I could even get to that point Mr Looo ended the relationship with my baby leaving her even more heart broken - but no cutting anymore.. which is a good thing!

I say all of this to basically say it was time to loosen the reigns on my baby a lil and let her breathe and enjoy being a teenager. I don't want her to sneak and freak and end up being a pregnant teenager.. she's been opening up to me alot more lately and I had to take the first step. It was a hard step to take too.. especially knowing that I had the same upbringing.. hell I couldn't even breathe next to a boy when I was a senior in high school.. yeah Pops was tough and he meant business.. so I thought I was protecting her when in a way I was doing more harm.

I can finally get all this off my chest especially now that things have taken a turn for the better. Her circumstances aren't so different from any other normal teenager and so I've decided to forego the counseling and just keep the honest lines of communication open.. stay tuned and I'll tell you how I got her to open up!