Guest Blogger! Yaaaaeah Boi!

I am going to formally introduce one of my bestest friends in the whole wide universe to guest blog on my site. She will appear from time to time with her own thoughts and views about life. Please blogging fam.. show her your warm support and love as she enters the blogging world a virgin...




So be on the lookout for this cool mofo and her peals of wisdom. This should be quite the experience folks..

Beware though.. she's lethal with the vocab

Chocolate News Part Dueax

If any of you missed the episode of Chocolate News.. please feel free to catch his rendition of how not to act on Nov 4th.. ROFL!

"We are within spitting distance of putting a brother in the White House, but right now, Barack's chances are shakier than Whitney on the pipe! So black people, I am begging you, until Nov 4, stop doing stupid sh**!"

DEAD!!

Noose you didn't!!

*Effigies of Barack Obama were hung on the University of Kentucky campus and outside a home in Indiana this week after authorities said an effigy of Sarah Palin in California was offensive, but not a hate crime, reports the Associated Press.

A life-sized likeness of Obama was found hanging from a tree with a noose around its neck Wednesday at the University of Kentucky. University President Lee Todd said he planned to apologize to the Obama family on behalf of the school and that he is "personally offended and deeply embarrassed by this disgusting episode."

Source

Okay what in the hell is on the mind of college students these days?? It's not funny for either side to do this, but this is just re-damn-diculous.. how can you be so naive and gullible and just plain offensive? I'm somebodies mama and I'm on that kick of I don't give a damn who did it first - both ya'll asses are in trouble. What say you blog fam?

Happy Halloween

Well today I'm tired and full.. that office potluck was off the chain and I don't normally fool with other people's cooking especially if I don't know how they keep house, but I have to give kudos to the cooks I was bacteria-free sure about! Dem yt folks don't know nothing about my receptionist greens.. Sweet Minty Jesus be some fatback...

Anywho - here's a lil flashback music to fit the occassion, Enjoy!



What would Halloween be without Vincent Price and Wacko Jacko? Well here's another version that I'm sure you all will enjoy - straight from the Cebu prison overseas somewhere... they got way too much time on their hands!



And although this ain't Rockwell with MJ.. this rendition was just as cute.. somebody say go yt boy go!!



And yes you must include Will Smith's Nightmare on my street - classic! Have a great weekend fam!

The Ex Effect

I can't make all of my posts about my daughter (although I would love to) there are other things in my world that urk me. I have an ex boyfriend who seems to think we are buddies now after 7 years of separation. Now don't get me wrong I like to remain friends with my exes to a point... point being where you aren't calling me three times a week bugging me about ish you could have saved your daytime minutes and just sent me an email. He doesn't just call to ask how I'm doing, but he calls with random tidbits of life that I really could care less about. The reason why he's an ex is because he couldn't never seem to get his ish together and stay on one job long enough to remember his boss' name much less earn a decent living...

So he's still moving job to job - unstable and living with roommates (who in the hell still has a roommate at age 40?) and barely keeping his eyeball above water. When we were together he made it a point to move his daughter in with us and then quit his job that I got for him making $16 an hour to go work at Blockbuster...



We never should have even dated, more like we should have been eff buddies.. He has no potential for anything other than becoming a male prostitute because that's the only upside to him... the largest "you know what" I've ever laid eyes on, but even that won't keep you under Wifee's roof because now those come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and colors...

He doesn't have the concept of what a good woman is until she's gone. Now he's missing his well cause the water ran dry. Everytime I talk to him it's like my brain is saying to me: "Why are you still on the phone? Hang up now!" But I don't want to be rude. The last call he made he stated that he's moving back to Oakland...



So I'm asking my blogging friends for advice... how should I handle this situation the next time he calls with the blah blah wompity womp womp?

She better learn Morse Code...

I so forgot to mention in that last post about the conversation my daughter and I had about the messages on her phone.. please don't think that I just let that ish slide...

So as I'm sitting there yesterday on my couch pissed about her behavior in class while she's busting suds..(washing dishes for the yt folks) I'm trying to have a drink and calm down because another ass whoopin is on the way. Her phone was sitting next to me on the table after confiscating it the other day. So the phone starts to ring with a new message.. and of course I look at it and all it says is the phone number (remember I had her delete all the boys numbers out of the phone) so she is trying to be slick eh? The message is filthy... something about a hug leading to a kiss, finger.. and what not... but no name is on the message.

So I call her down and ask "Who's number is 330-xxxx??"

Her: *blank stare*

Me: (oh so now you deaf huh?) So I yell - "WHO'S NUMBER IS 330-XXXX????"

She: (replying meekly) "A friend of mine"

Me: "Is it a boy?"

Her: *silence*

Me: (after I jump up from the couch, spill my drink and catch her by the throat) "What the hell is wrong with yo gotdarun mouth? You can't speak? Don't make me buss you in the eye.. IS IT A BOY?"

Her: "yes"



So after all of the conversations, beatings and warnings she still think she can defy me and have hot tailed nasty lil boys call the phone I pay for eh? Well that phone is no longer an issue because now that phone is going to be shut the hell off! Thank God for Ghettro.. no contracts.. no problem! She better get used to that payphone...

Where are my blood pressure meds?

Lawd I tell you my blood pressure has just raised 40 points fooling with my teenager. Why is it teenagers have brain damage?? Somebody please answer the question for me because I fail to understand why I received ANOTHER call from one of my daughter's teachers about her behavior in class?




It's not enough that she's already had the cell phone, tv, house phone and computer taken away from her, but she just had to take it further and play with someone else's cell phone in class.. I mean didn't I just whoop her ass day before yesterday for acting out in class?? So she ain't learned a dayum thing I see. But wait ya'll that's not all she's been up too.. hmmm mmm no ma'am. Since I have possession of the cell phone it prompted me to take a look at her phone from the messages to the pics.. and well let's just say this heffa ain't slick.




She told me that she never has her cellphone out in class, but I'll be damned if there weren't pics in her phone of her third period classmates posing in science class..

But the kicker was the upteen messages in her inbox that she didn't delete from a boy that made me blush as an adult. The messages were filthy and disgusting and even though it was one of those chain text messages, I wouldn't forward that mess to my dog let alone another human being. Now I'm ready to take the kid gloves off and send her ass right to the doctor for a routine kitty box inspection.. I don't have time to be caring for no teenager's baby! And what do I look like being a grandmother at age 37? I'd rather let pirranahas eat my eyeball meat.. shooot I refuse to support a teenage hard headed mother...

This girl must think I've lost my mind.. either that or she thinks I'm not serious about beating her every day until she understands I'm NOT PLAYING! Either way my right arm is going to get a workout again...