She better learn Morse Code...

I so forgot to mention in that last post about the conversation my daughter and I had about the messages on her phone.. please don't think that I just let that ish slide...

So as I'm sitting there yesterday on my couch pissed about her behavior in class while she's busting suds..(washing dishes for the yt folks) I'm trying to have a drink and calm down because another ass whoopin is on the way. Her phone was sitting next to me on the table after confiscating it the other day. So the phone starts to ring with a new message.. and of course I look at it and all it says is the phone number (remember I had her delete all the boys numbers out of the phone) so she is trying to be slick eh? The message is filthy... something about a hug leading to a kiss, finger.. and what not... but no name is on the message.

So I call her down and ask "Who's number is 330-xxxx??"

Her: *blank stare*

Me: (oh so now you deaf huh?) So I yell - "WHO'S NUMBER IS 330-XXXX????"

She: (replying meekly) "A friend of mine"

Me: "Is it a boy?"

Her: *silence*

Me: (after I jump up from the couch, spill my drink and catch her by the throat) "What the hell is wrong with yo gotdarun mouth? You can't speak? Don't make me buss you in the eye.. IS IT A BOY?"

Her: "yes"



So after all of the conversations, beatings and warnings she still think she can defy me and have hot tailed nasty lil boys call the phone I pay for eh? Well that phone is no longer an issue because now that phone is going to be shut the hell off! Thank God for Ghettro.. no contracts.. no problem! She better get used to that payphone...

Wifee Keeps her Word

Well I bet you're wondering if my daughter was able to get her cellphone back.. well the two weeks have passed and taking on the advice of my readers and my own common sense brought me to the conclusion that she had time served and was able to get her precious cellphone back.. but with some new conditions. She had to sit with me and delete every boy's number in her phone and once complete, delete all inappropriate messages. I told her that I could pull her account at anytime to see if she is deleting messages or phone calls, because now she must turn her phone into me every evening at 8:30 pm and she will get the phone back the next morning... Lawd I had her so spooked that I could retrieve this info (I have no idea if I really can - but sure will keep her a$$ honest won't it) So I now have a teenager who has an extra appendage to the side of her head again... Lawd pray for me ya'll!!

If I'm paying the bill...

Well here we are.. post number deaux! I couldn't just leave ya'll hanging until tomorrow in so much supsense as to what is going on with my daughter... so I came back to put up one more for today. She had been begging me for the past three years for her very own cellphone to the point where I even made it a school project. I had her write me a report on the pros of a cell phone for a teenager. Her pros were really convincing I must say.. she knew how hard it was to use the school phone when she needed to reach me and her friends were never very reliable for use of their phones. After much thought, I had to deny her request at age 13.. I just think it's too young.. even when I see her friends having phones since age 8 (I ain't they momma) so when she turned 14 in March - I decided now is the time to get the phone.

I'm not the type of parent to be fooled easily so the phone came with a lengthy contract.. not the Sprint or Verizon contract... Noooooo.. a MOMMA contract. I made sure it had provisions for her cell phone usage.. you know the usual do's and dont's like no boys are to call and answer my phone calls. I even made sure that I placed a clause in it that read:

"I am aware that this is a privilege that can be revoked at anytime for not following the terms of the agreement. I am also aware that my mother will and can monitor the phone for any reason to make sure above guidelines are being followed. "

*I should have been a lawyer.. lol*

So this brings me to present day.. last night as a matter of fact. My daughter had been told to go to bed (9:30 lights out damnit) so when I come up the stairs I notice that the lights are still on.. I make my usual "my momma's crazy yell" TURN OFF DEM DAMN LIGHTS!! I see the light immediately flick off as if we were in blackout.. but my mommie senses told me I wasn't done for the night.. something made me turn around and go in her room and as I did... the f'ing light from the phone was shining like a Glo Worm in the night. I told her to "Gimme the phone" and as I reached my room I tried to turn it on.. no power.. damn.. now I've got to go back.. "Gimme the damn charger" and return to my room to plug it up.



Well I'll be damned.. there's a lock on the phone so I can't access it... Oh HEEEELLL NAW... I return to her room and in a really mad voice say "Gimme the gotdayum code.. who you trying to play?" Needless to say there will be a conversation tonight about all of the boys names listed in the phone and the 7am "wake up" call from Kenneth - WTF? Shouldn't your ass be on your way to school instead of calling this girl at an ungodly hour???

Someone's in trouble.. trouble....TROUBLE!!