Ahem.. is this thing on?? Today's topic will be about my pet peeves.. and the many people who help to perpetuate my disdain for these things.. I have been trying my Godly best to not go off on my coworker today, because normally I can tollerate her talkative a$$, but today.. maybe it's that PMSing time of month or the planets are out of alignment.. whatever the reason... I can't stand the following:
- If you see me sitting at my desk working hard (or looking like I am) don't you even dare sit your raggedy arse in the chair next to me like we having a conference when all you have to discuss is what you used to do with the account I'm working on now... Look if I need advice or a trip down memory lane I will be more than happy to stop by your cubicle to get an earful.. but until then - STAY OUT MY DAMN CUBE WITH THAT NONSENSE!!
- If you happen to overhear my conversation and even if you have the remotest idea of what I'm talking about.. that DOES NOT give you the right to butt your nosey behind into my cubicle when I hang up the phone just to give me your 15 minutes worth of useless conversation about absolutely not a nar nada! Stay your clueless a$$ on the other side of the cubicle wall unless you want to catch a bottle to the head (yeah I work for a glass distributor ROFL)
- Every morning I do not need you to stand at my cubicle door with 20 minutes of what the hell you did last night when your old ass ain't did nothing but go home, take a geritol and pet your cats YOU LONELY HEFFA!! I'm going to go out and find you some friends so you can leave me the hell alone!
- You got one mo gain to interrupt me when I'm talking to somebody else and put your half a pennies worth of gibberish and never apologize for being so rude. You lucky the person I was talking to didn't just molly whop your a$$ because I hear this ain't the first time you've disrespected her.
- Next time you feel the need to have 50-11 conversations in one day with me.. stop yourself.. think do I really want her to cuss me out today? Hmmm.. nah.. then turn around like the hokey pokey and DISMISS YOURSELF!!
Whew... I'm spent...
*drops microphone*
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