When will you learn?

I don't know what's got into my daughter lately, but Sweet Minty Jesus had his precious arms tied around me like bungee cords I swear ya'll.. now most of you by now think I'm crazy as a bessy bug, but I'm an effective parent.. okay so peep this scenario:

I'm at work playing on the internet (as usual) and I get my normal call from my daughter at 3:30 to let me know she's out of school and on her way home. No sooner than I hang up the phone, but her last period algebra teacher calls..



Now I'm sure most of you can recall a time in your life when your mother or father received that priceless phone call from a teacher about your shenanigans at the school house.. I'm going to take you back to that place.

Teacher: "Uh yes.. is this the parent of ________"

Me: "Yes.. how can I help you?"

Teacher: "Well I've been having some trouble today with ______ and she's been quite disruptive in class talking with her friends and she wasn't able to complete any of the assignments in class today..."



Me: "Is that so? Well this is totally unacceptable and she and I will discuss this matter at great length this evening. I appreciate you calling me with the info."

Now after I finished spewing green vomit and turning my head around like the excorcist.. I call my daughter because her lil behind just left his class and was sounding all cute on the phone with me just prior.. well I know how to cut that "cute" in half!

Me: "When you get home do your homework and don't touch the tv, phone, cellphone, or the computer.. matter of fact you just be glad I'm letting you breathe..."

Her: "uhhhhh okay"

Click

I know the whole way home she's sweating bullets wondering how much I know about what she did.. and serves her right, because now I'm madder than McCain on Nov 5th. Why is it so hard for this little girl to just go to school and learn.. what's so hard about that? Especially knowing her mama doesn't have good sense. *smh*

We seem to make it home at the same time and as I walk up to the door, she's got her keys in the doorway I swear fo God I just wanted to do this:



But I want to hear her story.. so she starts explaining how her friends are talking in class and she was just laughing at them and got in trouble... and that she's done her classwork but forgot to turn it in and blah blah wompity womp womp...

So I let her know by no means necessary will she be talking in class if I have to super glue her lips together because her only job in this world is to go to school.. period! I had to reach back and grab my "reminder" and let my 14 yr old know she ain't never going to get too big to beat.. hmm mmm I whooped her behind all over the house last night..



I betcha she ain't said a mumblin word today..