There's no crying in Wifee's World...

So the weekend has come and gone and I bet your ready for another sequel in the life of my world. This weekend was pretty eventful to say the least. My brother drove down carrying my newest neice Bryn Janelle who is almost a year old:




Ain't she the cutest?? Yeah I'm trying to put her on the right path with the football in the corner.. she's got a great arm too! Spending time with family is what I enjoy most, but it never fails, someone is always the brunt of the joke.. this time it was my "teenager".. I'm trying to explain how she got her phone taken away and as I'm telling the story, I look over and tears are welling up in her eyes (Oh Lawd.. bring on the dramatics) Okay so I'm no hard ass.. and I can feel her pain, so I abruptly stop telling the story so as not to further embarass her in front of family (ain't that what family is for?) It seems like there are alot of "touchy" subjects when it comes to my daughter.. from her shoe size (size 11 - you know she got good balance on those things) to her hair, clothes and everything in between. Why are teenagers so daggone sensitive? Especially girls.. I can't tell none of her business while she's listening (uh yeah.. I know exactly how that sounded) I know if she ever got a chance to find this blog - her whole world would come crumbling down like a waffle cone in a fat kid's hands..

LOL.. naw.. if she ever did find this blog - I would hope she would read between the jokes and attempts at humor to find that I really do care.. it's just that some of the stuff that goes on in her mind are simply FUNNY AS HELL! Don't be mad... just be happy you are now entertaining the masses of parents and adults that have gone through the same thing. Like have you ever asked a teenager to do something in detail and they only get to one of the things on the detailed list? Brain damaged ain't even the word sometimes.. just this past weekend I asked her very politely to clean the bathroom (the girl's only bathroom - we don't clean up after boys) and I tell her in my best Mommie tone "Clean up the bathroom, bathtub, around the bathtub, empty the trash can, clean the mirrors, sweep and mop.. now why must I then break this ish down like I'm talking to a two year old... in my slow retarded voice "Cleeeeaaan the baaaathroooom, baaaaathtub..etc" Now she comes down the stairs saying - I'm done.. now here's the test.. how much of what was on the list do ya'll think she followed?? Try the first two...

So now I've got to repeat what I've said for the third time and hopefully this time she'll get it.. uhh no! That would have been too much like right... she does a couple more things on the list and then looks at me like whaaa? I swear children must think we are either dumb as hell or we ain't paying attention, but no ma'am.. I'm one of the ones that pays close attention.. so after further inspection of the bathroom.. I notice the trash can and mirrors aren't done.. time to knock some sense in her cause the talking ain't working...

ROFL.. naw.. I wish.. so after all of that do you know that girl had the nerve to ask me why is it her job to clean the bathroom?? WTH?? Are you serious? I told her as politely as I could.. because it's my job to go to work and buy those skinny jeans for you.. and it's my job to keep the lights on so you can do your homework.. and it's my job to feed those huge Sasquatch size 11 feet.. not to mention the shoes that have to cover em... But my best and only reason was this:

After all this.. I need a blunt, a drink and a cigarrette.. because she has wrecked my reserve nerve for the weekend...